My only real rule with my writing is to pursue a genuine sense of honesty and self reflection. This can be difficult in general throughout life because often, we lie to our selves. How can you truly be honest with others when you can’t even sift through the subterfuge of your own subconscious self deception?
With that said, I’m calling bullshit on myself for not following through with my own pep talk from my previous entry, “The Cookie Crumbles”, which details my thoughts on persevering through adversity. The article was quite rousing, if not self-helpish in it’s tone, and somewhat sanctimonious in hindsight. (I often find people giving other people life advice sanctimonious.)
Since the posting of that piece, I’ve fallen into what could only be described as some sort of depression. I usually don’t go see a doctor unless it’s a dire need, so in times like these, I tend to act as my own shrink. I always feel that there should be a logical reason for depressed thoughts and feelings; A relationship breakup, a job layoff, a death in the family, etc. Hence, there should be a logical solution to said problem. Whether it’s getting more sun or exercise, socializing more, or perhaps taking significant time to heal from a loss is the only answer. Logic aside, one caveat is that there could be just a chemical imbalance, i.e., clinical depression, but I would only want to try anti-depressants as a last resort. I had a horrible experience once after trying them for a few days. I would rather to go to the root of the problem, not reach for a band aid.
This may be the most disheartening title to any of my pieces of writing, but I’m going to push forward. The aforementioned title is a caked in irony in that I’ve been pretty damn good at getting laid throughout most of my adult life. Being tall, somewhat good looking, and living an adventurous rock n roll lifestyle probably contributed to this state of success, but I think that’s only the tip of the iceberg. The real key to getting your fair share of poontang is being focused on it, and seeking it out. with determination Look at this scene from one of my all time favorite films about picking up women, Roger Dodger, starring Campbell Scott and a young Jesse Eisenberg. Roger explains to his teenage nephew how the first component to meeting women is to be in the air of sex, and to make it part of your being and perception of the world.
The truth is lately I’ve been too preoccupied with the day-to-day rigors of everyday life to be in an air of sex, but I’m getting ahead of myself. My unintentional abstinence really began in the springtime after a woman I had been seeing for a couple months, whom I was starting to develop feelings for and could see some long term potential, took a trip to Africa and decided not to contact me again. (Very Chappelle-esque move if you ask me) Yes, it was a kind of brutal and it hurt, but I thought I would do what Clint Eastwood would do, and walk that shit off.