Ex-Man Podcast Ep. 135 – Kevin Coyle aka Dad Forbid (My Father)

Doc welcomes his father, Kevin Coyle, to the show and they talk about Kevin’s childhood growing up in New Jersey, how he into playing piano and discovered jazz, what attracted him to American black culture and music, meeting my mother, dealing with racism as an interracial couple, the difficulty of raising two children as a working musician, how he helped cultivate my brother and I’s foray into guitar and music, how his politics were shaped, what it was like seeing his sons become professional musicians, and performing piano on a couple God Forbid albums.

This episode features the song “The Lonely Dead” by God Forbid featuring Kevin Coyle.

Follow Kevin on Twitter @KevinCoyle4

Follow Doc on Instagram and Twitter @DocCoyle

Buy the official Ex-Man Podcast T-shirt at doccoyle.net/shop/

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Ex-Man Podcast Ep. 133 – Jesse Leach (Killswitch Engage, Times of Grace, The Weapon)

Doc welcomes Killswitch Engage vocalist, Jesse Leach, to the show and they talk about Jesse coming up in the Rhode Island punk and grind scene with his first bands Corrin and Nothing Stays Gold, how Killswitch Engage came together as side project, what he thinks made Killswitch special and stand out from the pack, breaking through with Alive or Just Breathing, why he quit the band shortly after starting to tour for the album, why he decided to get back on the horse with a new band, Seemless, how struggling to make a living and toiling in the underground scene evolved his mindset, reconnecting with Adam D for the band, Times of Grace, what it was like rejoining Killswitch, getting vocal surgery, and his new hardcore punk band, The Weapon.

This episode features the songs “Sorcerer” by The Periwinkle Massacre and “Pink Tax” by The Weapon.

Follow Jesse on Instagram @jesse_d_leach and Twitter @EyeAgainstI

Follow Doc on Instagram and Twitter @DocCoyle

Please support this episode’s sponsor The Periwinkle Massacre at www.facebook.com/theperiwinklemassacre/

Please support this episode’s sponsor Good Company with Scott Bowling at www.youtube.com/user/scottbowling1580

Buy the official Ex-Man Podcast T-shirt at doccoyle.net/shop/

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Ex-Man Ep. 112 – Coping with Social Isolation w/ Rachel Dash-Doughterty (Social Worker/Therapist)

Doc welcomes Social Worker and Therapist, Rachel Dash-Dougherty, to the show to discuss how people can cope with their mental and emotional health during the difficult experience we are all having social distancing dealing with the outbreak of COVID-19 aka Coronavirus.

Follow Rachel on Instagram @groundedtherapist and Twitter @groundedtherap

Check out her website groundedtherapist.com/

Follow Doc on Instagram and Twitter @DocCoyle

Listen to more great podcasts like this at JabberJawMedia.com

Ep. 78 – Paul Conroy (ex-Roadrunner A&R, ex-Lamb of God Manager, ex-Ferret Records/Good Fight)

Doc welcomes former artist manager, A&R, and entrepreneur Paul Conroy and they talk about how he got his start in the music business in Philadelphia, getting hired by Roadrunner Records, his challenges as an A&R, leaving Roadrunner to manage Lamb of God, how insecurity as a manager got the best of him and led to him partnering with Carl Severson at Ferret Records, his philosophy on how passion drives his entrepreneurial spirit, selling Ferret and launching Good Fight Entertainment, burning out and changing his focus to health and wellness, leaving the music industry and moving to the west coast to enter sports entertainment, his current company Plus Foundry, and Paul inquires Doc about his life transitions and recent success.

This episode features the songs “My Resistance” by Hallow Point and “Untitled” by Five Pointe O.

Follow Paul on Instagram @pauljosephconroy

Follow Doc on Instagram and Twitter @DocCoyle

Check out and support our show sponsor Hallow Point here www.facebook.com/hallowpointmetal/

Support our show sponsor and buy official band merch at Rockabilia.com. Use the code PCJABBERJAW for 10% off. Buy the Rockabilia.com Exclusive Ex Man T-shirt here – www.rockabilia.com/doc-coyle-the-e…irt-402964.html

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The Ex Man Podcast Ep. 77 – 2018 Year in Review – The Mental Health Episode

Doc summarizes the experiences of the previous year of touring, how it has affected him, dealing with depression, and the steps he has taken to get healthy in 2019. Doc also recounts his favorite albums and films of 2018.

Follow Doc on Instagram and Twitter @DocCoyle

Support our show sponsor and buy official band merch at Rockabilia.com. Use the code PCJABBERJAW for 10% off. Buy the Rockabilia.com Exclusive Ex Man T-shirt here – www.rockabilia.com/doc-coyle-the-e…irt-402964.html

Listen to more great podcasts like this at JabberJawMedia.com

The Ex Man Podcast 42 – Sonny Mayo (Ugly Kid Joe, ex-Sevendust, ex-HeD PE, ex-Amen, ex-Snot)

Doc speaks with prolific guitar player, Sonny Mayo, about the benefits of therapy, being influenced by James Hetfield, coming up in Northern Virginia with his thrash band Silence, opening up for an upcoming Pantera, how he moved west and joined Snot, falling in with drugs and how that led to him leaving Snot and joining Amen, getting sober and subsequently joining HeD PE, how playing with Sevendust was the best thing and hardest thing he ever did, going to school to become a producer, playing with Ugly Kid Joe, and his new life working with Rock to Recovery.

This episode features the song “Coulda Woulda Shoulda” by Snot.

You can follow Sonny on Instagram @sonny_mayo and Twitter @sonnymayo

Follow Doc on Instagram and Twitter @DocCoyle

Support our show sponsor and buy official band merch at Rockabilia.com. Use the code PCEXMAN for 15% off.

Listen to more great podcasts like this at JabberJawMedia.com

The Ex Man Podcast 39 – Byron Davis (ex-God Forbid)

Doc speaks with ex-God Forbid vocalist, Byron Davis, about how he felt and what he did when God Forbid broke up, how wanting to start a family factored into moving on from the band, reflect on the troubles that led to the break-up, the creative process of the last album Equilibrium, how his vocal style evolved through the years, what finding metal in a predominantly black community was like, and contemplate his future plans.

This episode features the song “Zombie” by Bad Wolves and “Pockets Lined With Flowers” by Casket Robbery from the EP The Ascension.

Follow Byron on Instagram and Twitter @Byronde

Follow Doc on Instagram and Twitter @DocCoyle

Check out Casket Robbery at casketrobbery.bandcamp.com/

Support our show sponsor and buy official band merch at Rockabilia.com. Use the code PCEXMAN for 15% off.

Listen to more great podcasts like this at JabberJawMedia.com

Anti-Flag

confed

I wasn’t sure if I was going to write about the controversy involving the Confederate Flag. Every news or media outlet that had someone with an opinion threw their hat in the ring. I had some discussions with a couple of my best friends whose viewpoints were both vague indifference: that they had too many other problems in their real life to really care. I took that as a slight frustration by being inundated with yet another controversy for people to be outraged by. The PC police had run amok…again. I can empathize with some of their frustration considering how many “false flag” (pun intended), “boy who cried wolf” outrages over Don Imus, Alec Baldwin, or Tracy Morgan saying inappropriate things. In my gut though, this was different. I couldn’t stop thinking about it.

The truth is I never thought anything would ever change about a certain sector of this country’s infatuation with the stars and bars. I knew the real history. Or most of it at least. If I saw someone displaying it out and loud, it made me a bit uncomfortable. But that was rare; I lived in New Jersey for Christ’s sake. I remember seeing  the flag in a well-to-do kid I went to high school with’s room in semi-rural New Jersey. To me, it always seemed daft to see a northerner with the flag of the south. I mean, you could just move down south if you wanted to. What exactly are you pining for?

Over time, it just faded into the brush of Americana. I didn’t take it personally. I guess it was maybe a racist thing to some people. But I just took it as a redneck thing. I don’t love using that word, but I’d imagine if someone was proudly sporting a big ol’ Confederate flag, they probably don’t shy away from self identifying as a redneck. That might be presumptuous, so sorry if I’m wrong. But I just took it as one of those things that southerners, self-identifying rednecks, and maybe a some white supremacists would just have forever. Like guns or perpetual war. They aren’t going anywhere anytime soon. I’ve just gotten used to it.

I was extremely surprised when there was a public and political push to remove the flag from state grounds across the south after the massacre in Charleston. I’m cool with it, but I can understand how southerners and republicans would be freaked out.  There’s a black President, gay marriage just got legalized, and now your favorite flag is being marked for obsolescence. Like I said, it’s kinda like guns for me. In a perfect world, I’d love people to maybe not have so many guns, but with that whole “from my cold, dead hand” bit, I understand how attached to them you are. I’m just gonna concede that one. I mean, you gotta gun. Hang on to it. Don’t mind my idealistic ass.

I have to let people vent, but I saw this on my Facebook timeline.

Racist Meme

First, I was confused. Then, I was angry. Then, I just got sad. Maybe that’s what being offended feels like. Just being really hurt in your heart by something. I’m never really offended, so I didn’t really know.

It should also be said that I guess no one ever thought for a second that these black people could physically excrete American flags from their butts, which would basically make them the most patriotic people in the country. National treasures, really. In all seriousness though, this meme is like Rorschach test for the deeply racist and dimwitted. It’s misdirection is simultaneously ingenious and paradoxically stupid. This is a powerful piece of propaganda. Let me break it down:

1. Misdirection: The oldest trick of propaganda. To get you to stop thinking about one issue, they present a completely different issue with the lie that they are connected. If you already have a distrust of black people and hate lefty flag burners and anti-patriots, then alarm bells are going off. It’s red meat for the hungry.

2. False choice: No where on the meme does it say you can dislike both. Like most things involving this kind of thinking, it lacks grey area or nuance. “If you’re not with us, you’re against us!”

3. Breakdown of Logic: You can’t say the above symbol is not racist, or at least that the way you use it and what it means to you is not racist, and then CLEARLY choose a picture of 2 idiotic black people as your example of villains. Meme maker, why did you choose these examples? I’m sure you could have found white people desecrating the American flag. I hate to say it, but at least racist people back in the day had the balls to be honest about it. (By the way, I get that black people can be racist. We all have the capability)

4. Breakdown of Logic #2: You can’t insinuate people wiping their ass with the flags  are “traitors”, and not label the entire Confederacy trying to leave that country “traitors”. How is that not the most obvious thing in the world? I mean, is this thing on? You can’t call yourself a patriot for the USA when you are more loyal to the part of the country that didn’t want to be part of the country. Thinking about the lack of reasoning that goes into that thought process is literally making me dizzy. It’s cognitive dissonance, and complex mental compartmentalization in it’s purest form.

5. False equivalency: If you think going to war to maintain keeping black people as property and decades of Jim Crow oppression is an equal sin to a couple jackasses wiping their ass with the flag, then I’m…speechless.

The person who I saw post this, I’m not gonna name. I’m not gonna unfriend you. But I hope you read this. I hope you know that this made me sad and confused. I’d rather have people with whom I disagree in my personal sphere. I know we don’t disagree about everything. You are angry, so you want to lash out. If hurting people is what you wanted, then it worked. Vengeance works sometimes, but know these public forms are supposed to be amongst “friends”. That’s not how friendly people behave.

I’m gonna wrap up my opinion on the Confederate flag in one anecdote:

One time in 2010, I was having lunch with my friends Tommy Vext and Jenn City to talk about some band stuff. I casually used the word “gay” to describe something. Jenn called me out. Jenn is a lesbian. She called me to task. “What did I mean by ‘gay’?”  I didn’t have a good answer. That’s just the way we talked. My brother and I, guys in the band. “Damn. Taco Bell is closed. That shit is gay.” “I am broke is fuck. This is gay.” Never once had I thought about actual gay people when I said it. I grew up as liberal as can be, and still even I had a blind spot. At first, I was a little annoyed because I meant no harm. But, my friend was hurt by this.

Over time, I broke the habit. For me, not to use the word, is a small thing. But for my friend, not to hear the word used in that way, is a really big thing. There’s nothing politically correct about being courteous and respectful to my friend; it’s just correct. It’s the right thing to do, because I give a shit.

And, it’s the same way with the flag. I’m sure most the people who flaunt it aren’t racist. It probably does mean heritage and southern pride and good ol’ boys and all that stuff. But compartmentalizing what it means to you, and ignoring it’s origins, and ignoring how it makes other people feel…is just a purely selfish act. You don’t want to change. I get it. It’s part of your identity. Being told virtually over night that it’s not kosher is jarring and disruptive. I’m not saying people shouldn’t sport the Confederate flag. This is America. Americans are free to express themselves however they want. Just understand that others who don’t see eye to eye with you on the flag will now look at you with that much more discomfort when it is in sight. It will make certain people sad, confused, scared, and angry. I hope you can live with that. I hope you are ok with the fact that freedom of speech does not grant you freedom from criticism of that speech.  These events have polarized us even more, and that saddens me even more.

What surprised me most is what Phil Anselmo from Pantera, Down, and Superjoint Ritual whose bands sported the Confederate flag on more than one occasion, said, “These days, I wouldn’t want anything to fucking do with it, because, truthfully…I wouldn’t. I wouldn’t want much to fucking do with it all, and personally, you know I never…The way I feel, and the group of people I’ve had to work with my whole life, you…You see a Confederate flag out there that says ‘Heritage, not hate.’ I’m not so sure I’m buying into that, you know?”

If this man, a man who has a somewhat checkered past when it comes to racial politics, can evolve to a dramatically self aware place on this topic, than what does it say about us all? When the dust settles, think on it, allow your soul to search. These symbols shouldn’t matter. Like my friends, I should have better things to do, but I can can’t stop thinking or soul searching. Now if only this fucking dust would settle.

Sour Grapes

Dawson-Crying-dawsons-creek-1445426-640-480

Sometimes, you reach a point when you realize you’re just….done. And now, I’m just plain done listening to musicians complain. Amateurs complain about how people don’t support the “scene”, or woefully contemplate why they aren’t breaking through when the truth is that they aren’t contributing anything special or innovative. I am done hearing mid-level bands bitch about how band “X” is inexplicably selling tons of records and selling out shows, but they can’t even land a decent support slot. “That band sucks! We crush them! I don’t get it.” Damn right, you don’t get it. I am really done listening to rich rock stars of yesteryear’s glory days whine about downloading and how kids today have ruined the music industry.

Whether you are in a local band trying to build any kind of audience, or in a signed, touring, established act trying to stay afloat in constantly changing times, or a millionaire dejected that music alone will not afford you that 2nd vacation home or 3rd Bentley, I’ve noticed that musicians do lots of fucking complaining. Maybe it’s a rock and metal thing. You guys love complaining so much, that people complain for me. After I wrote my piece about the demise of NWOAHM, several people scoffed at the idea that I postulated that maybe God Forbid wasn’t good enough. I didn’t say we weren’t, but just entertained the possibility that we weren’t. They have to assert a lack of fairness is built into the system so that the truly “great” bands will be periodically overlooked. That sounds like Conspiracy Theory 101 to me.

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This Is The End

Headbangers ball

“This is the end!” This is the emphatic, anthemic line in the God Forbid opening track from the album IV: Constitution of Treason, which was released during the peak of our powers in 2005. In fact, it wasn’t the end. The end came much later. At the time, it felt like we were invincible, destined for heavy metal immortality. And we were in the lower tier of the NWOAHM (or Metalcore or whatever you want to call it) in all metrics for determining the success or popularity of bands. If you look at album, ticket, and merchandise sales, Myspace friends, Youtube views, Facebook “likes”, or the ever mystical buzz on the street, God Forbid was probably never half as big as any of the rest of the Big 4 of Quitters (I should trade mark this) including Bleeding Through, Shadows Fall, and now Chimaira. Knowing that, even we felt invincible. That’s how intoxicating achieving any discernible success with your art can be. Shadows Fall and Chimaira hanging it up in the last couple weeks have brought an outpouring of sadness, shock and disappointment from fans. It seems like the end of an era, and maybe it is.

Hearing that these great bands are moving on makes me sad and disappointed, but not shocked. The truth is that amongst peers a good majority of our conversations have to do with figuring out how to stay relevant by finding new audiences, getting great tours, signing with the right label, writing the next game changing album, and more. Teetering on the edge of existence has been much of our collective realities for half of our careers. As the O.G. quitter, I’m here to explain why this is happening and why you shouldn’t be surprised.

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